For those of you who live under a rock, or have morals, and haven't indulged in the greatest display of idiocracy on television, I would like to introduce you to Toddler's and Tiaras. It's a fantastic show on TLC (you know, the learning channel), that follows various toddlers throughout their journey towards the Ultimate Grand Supreme Title at local beauty pageants. Oh, and it's about their over bearing, pushy, and generally over-weight and under-educated stage mothers.
The show depicts the children, who can barely form sentences, getting spray tans and wearing fake sets of teeth, all in preparation for the upcoming beauty talent competitions. Generally, the children throw tantrums and cry about being paraded around on stage in front of judges while the mothers explain how their children just adore being pageant regulars.
All in all, it's the best display of bad parenting on TV, and it never fails to amuse me.
This past week's episode included a three year old who chose to dress as Julia Robert's character in Pretty Woman. She chose to sport the iconic outfit from the first scene of the movie, when Vivienne first seduces her Lotus-driving Prince Charming. Apparently, this has caused quite a bit of controversy.
I really don't see what the big deal is. Oh, all of a sudden this show is outrageous? It really took a little girl dressed as a hooker for people to realize this? Most of all, who really cares what the little girl was dressed as? It's not as if she understood what she was (unless her mother sat her down and explained to her what that costume symbolized, which is really, just a message that if you work hard enough and screw the right people, you can get anywhere in life).
And even supposing this child did fully comprehend what a prostitute is, let's be real here: this is probably the best action these parents have taken in preparing their daughters for the future. The likelihood of these children going anywhere in life besides a regional beauty pageant is virtually non existent. Just look at these parents: they're Southern, and fat, and completely out of touch with reality. These children have stupid names that set them up for failure as well. Who the fuck names their kid Paisley and thinks it's acceptable? I think it's a lot more outrageous to expect these children to do anything productive with themselves than to just admit that while yes, some children will grow up to be professional athletes and doctors and lawyers and politicians, some of them will inevitably have to grow up to be the strippers and prostitutes that attend to them.
In my opinion, at least this mother gave her daughter a realistic glimpse into her future.
Check out the clip here:
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